Vote of Censure (Penned in April)

Spring is well and truly here. The long, dark days of inclement weather and feint heart induced cancellations are past and the Trevors can look forward to another fine summer of adventure. And the Spring so far has been so encouraging. Bright, warm days with the most wonderful show of early blossom.

The Blackthorn has been pristine and exuberant in its whiteness and the heavy, intoxicating scent of the May followed by the champagne Elderflower are just around the corner. No wonder the Trevors have emerged from their winter hibernation to brave once more the carnage of our highways and byways. And it has already been a thrilling start to the season with new arrivals, the usual disasters, a divergent Trevor and yet another Section to add to the burgeoning Club. An early challenge of the season was how to deal with an application for membership from a Vesper. It was not that the Vesper was not a moped (it could easily be a sort of mathematical subset) or that it was only two years old (give it time and it will breakdown just as well as the rest) but rather that it was powered by a 125cc engine – and the rules clearly state that members have to be under 50ccs. Lateral thinking was called for. The official T prefix was not possible so a new MoD Section was created – the MoD standing for either Mod, as in Parker, or MoD, as in Ministry of Defence (on account of the owner’s predilection for military regalia). Welcome MoD1.

Two other truly proper mopeds have arrived from France, neither of them road worthy of course. T2 snapped up a racey looking bargain off the back of a pickup, an AU44 with no papers of identification that will undoubtedly lead to bureaucratic convulsions in the process of registration. T4 came across a rather grubby 1960 (ish) Mobylette in an attic sale (curious term) in Limousin. Only the French could keep a moped in the attic (well, and maybe T1). This rather attractive pale blue machine (with a seized engine) is now scattered around T4’s garage representing a challenge to be tackled with great care and attention. Meanwhile, T4’s Quickly (by name but not by nature) had been sent for some professional guidance to a real mechanic where his parts have been residing in two cardboard boxes for the last four months and are not showing any urgent signs of reassemblage. However, T3’s Mobylette was delighted to have some more French compatriots in the village, particularly ones that were, possibly, in a worse state of repair than himself. Unfortunately, the excitement was not quite sufficiently great to cause Moby to burst into life, despite having his engine turned over. Which leads me on to the extraordinary committee meeting held in The Boot on 21st April. It had been noticed that T3 was attending the regular weekly rallies on his bicycle and thereby giving completely unnecessary support and encouragement to the already unquenchable Trevorettes. His claim that he was under doctor’s orders and had indeed ‘turned the engine over’ of his Mobylette was not considered, on the one hand, sufficient excuse, and on the other, the appropriate level of care and mechanical interest to be expected of a Trevor. A censure of lamentable proportions was proclaimed and T3 given a
deadline for returning to the road under power. Will T3 come up to scratch? Please don’t hold your breath.